The Insightful Observer

This is a deeply personal reflection I wanted to share with my children. Though they may not fully grasp its meaning now, it is my earnest hope that they will come to hold it dear in the years to come.

Understanding the True Value of Privilege: Another Perspective

When I look at life today, at how easily things like fast food or dining out are treated as everyday expectations, I want you to understand what real struggle and actual resilience look like.

When you are in the middle of true financial hardship, there is no money for luxuries. Chick-fil-A or similar conveniences aren’t even on the radar; they are entirely out of the question, unnecessary things that don’t belong in the vocabulary of survival. I have struggled alongside loved ones, and I have struggled completely on my own, sometimes even at my own peril.

I don’t tell you these stories because I want you to experience that kind of cold or hunger. Quite the opposite: I do not want you to struggle because of nonsense or irresponsible choices. I want you to be better, to do better, and to recognize how much you have to be grateful for.

The Feast of Feasts

There were seasons in our lives when the world felt entirely unmoored. After my parents divorced, a tumultuous and painful time, things became heavy for everyone. My dad had kept the house, which is an entirely separate chapter of trauma, and we found ourselves in a place where the cabinets were practically bare.

We were hungry; a deep, persistent kind of hungry. There was no food in the fridge except for some butter, a bag of potatoes, a little flour, and a few seasonings. The uncertainty, anxiety, and fear of those days permeated the air.

Yet, I can still picture my dad standing at the counter after working 70+ hours on his feet at a restaurant. He took those potatoes and, with the focus of an Iron Chef, sliced them up. With just flour, butter, and love, he managed to whip up fresh, soft homemade tortillas to go alongside the most delicious stove-cooked papas.

When he called us to the kitchen, it wasn’t just a meal, it was a feast. In the middle of hardship, he created warmth and abundance. We sat down together, and everyone walked away with a full belly.

Living Through the Coldness 

That kitchen cooking memory was just one snapshot. There were nights so cold the house had no heat, forcing us to leave the oven door open just to stay warm, something we look back on now knowing how dangerous it was, though it might have saved us then.

The emotional weight was just as heavy, maybe more. I remember staying behind in a half-empty house after my mother had moved her things out while my dad was at work, simply because I couldn’t bear for him to come home to that emptiness alone. I remember holding him, crying on my adolescent shoulder, as his marriage came to an end.

And long after those plates were cleared, I remember preparing a hot bucket of water and Epsom salt for his exhausted, aching feet.

Growing Together

Through it all, perseverance, patience, and determination are what kept us united; together as a family and a team. We were humbled, we survived, and we thrived. And every step of the way, we learned.

Everything your family worked for, and every sacrifice made along the way, was built so that you wouldn’t have to break under the weight of the world the way we once did. Honor that.

Understand the difference between wanting something and needing it, and never forget what it took to get you here.